I figured, a new year, a new look, works for me. And my wonderful husband found it for me, which meant that I didn’t have to go trolling through all the different theme possibilities to find it. Hooray for not trolling.
Happy New Year! Does it feel different to you? I decided today that having the new year start on a Thursday is just weird, (and just for the record, I had to look to see what day of the week it is today). I think the new year should start at the beginning of a new week, it just makes more sense that way. It’s more fittingly symbolic. This morning did not start well, ( though I did remember to say rabbit*), with Z waking up at 5 and screaming her face off and her not feeling well and me not feeling well and being tired and no where near as patient or compassionate as I should have been. We’re all sick and tired, and that’s no way to start a new year, so I think my new year is going to start on Sunday.
There are a lot of things I want to work on this year (that is starting on Sunday). I was thinking about things today, and realizing that to a large extent, I’m avoiding living the life I want to live. I buy scrapbooking magazines (and cooking magazines, and quilting magazines) and supplies and then don’t use them. I dream about dancing but put off taking a dance class. I want to be surrounded by beautiful things and instead am surrounding myself with clutter (that is not beautiful). I want to fill my mind with knowledge but waste time on gossip websites. I want to show love and compassion but do nothing while I’m trying to come up with the perfect thing to say or do, and then the moment passes. I long to create but fear “messing up” so just look at other people’s creations. I expect so much from my body and show it very little respect.
I just feel like I need a perspective shift. I need to step out of my little comfort bubble and start trying to do the things I want to do. I realize that a lot of it is just life with a 5 month old- it’s hard to live an incredibly productive, involved life on not a lot of sleep. That should get better once she starts sleeping more, (she actually slept for 12 hours the other night! Zoe didn’t, but that’s another story) so I need to start figuring out now how to start doing the things I want to do, so I’m prepared.
Anyway, I’m just in a contemplative mood today. No need for solutions, just sleep and pondering. I hope you all have a wonderful new year, whether it starts today or some other day. 🙂
*Superstition has it that if “Rabbit” is the first thing you say in the new year, your new year will be lucky. And who am I to pass up luck?