“I was really going to be somebody by the time I was 23.”
In a little over a month I’ll be turning 30. That fact, in and of itself, doesn’t really bother me all that much. I’ve gotten to the point where I realize that for the most part age doesn’t really matter all that much, as is evidenced by the fact that I really have no idea how old most of my friends are, and don’t know how old I am most of the time.
But I remembered the quote at the top of this post the other day; it comes from Reality Bites. I’ve never actually seen the whole movie (I know, that’s probably some sort of crime), but I have seen that part, and it made me cry. I know that feeling, the sorrow over the childhood dreams that reality took away. When I was little, and then in high school, I knew who I was going to be when I was 23, and it certainly was going to be somebody. I was going to accomplish and be and people would know me.
But life takes us in different directions than we think, and my life now is nothing like the life I thought I was going to have. I haven’t accomplished the things I wanted to, but those things aren’t important or even realistic to me now. I realize now that the “somebody” I thought I wanted to be isn’t really what I want at all.
Instead, I’m somebody completely different, and I like the person that I am, and the things that I’ve done. I’ve started to compile a list of things that I’ve accomplished in the 13 years since I graduated high school, and I have to admit that I’m kind of impressed with myself.
So what have I done? Here’s a partial list (in somewhat chronological order):
* Graduated with a BA of Literature with Honors
* Managed Atlantis for 5 years and stuck with it despite people saying I should get a real job, because I loved it so much.
* Planned and pulled off the 25th Anniversary year at Atlantis with at least 1 event a month and didn’t kill myself or anyone else
* Edited the 25th Anniversary comic
* Became somewhat known and gained a good reputation in the industry
* Went to New Orleans twice
* Had the nerve to get out a bad situation, and fix a mistake rather than make it worse
* Got married 🙂
* Wrote 2 novels
* Edited a novella that’s been published
* Got the job I’ve wanted for a long time
* Got a gig writing graphic novel reviews
* Read 300+ books
* Learned how to knit
* Got pregnant
Do you know of something else I’ve accomplished? Remind me so I can add it to my list!
Ahhh, 30, it is a good age. I just realized yesturday that this year would make me 32. I too was going to be “somebody” by the time I was near this age (I never thought I would by 23). I am somebody, gosh darn it, but it sure isn’t the somebody I had dreamed about.
I made a list of everything I did during my 20s when I turned 30. That helped me to look forward to all the things I would accomplish during my 30s. It has been 2 years and I can’t say I have done very much. I moved to Seattle for a year and then I moved back to Utah. I started a PhD and I quit a PhD. I moved into my big brothers basement…one day I will say I moved out of his house into my own (hopefully soon, rather than when I turn 40.) I need to do something more grand before this year is through, because after this year I only have 8 more until I have to do the review of my 4th decade.
I dunno. To me, 30 wasn’t much of anything. But then…neither is age. I am timeless. 😉
I sure am glad I came back over and read all the posts I missed!
I’m horrible at remembering things that have happened; I can only remember recent things.
So here’s one: you got me to continue to write.