A new look

Like it?

I figured, a new year, a new look, works for me. And my wonderful husband found it for me, which meant that I didn’t have to go trolling through all the different theme possibilities to find it. Hooray for not trolling.

Happy New Year! Does it feel different to you? I decided today that having the new year start on a Thursday is just weird, (and just for the record, I had to look to see what day of the week it is today). I think the new year should start at the beginning of a new week, it just makes more sense that way.  It’s more fittingly symbolic.   This morning did not start well, ( though I did remember to say rabbit*), with Z waking up at 5 and screaming her face off and her not feeling well and me not feeling well and being tired and no where near as patient or compassionate as I should have been.  We’re all sick and tired, and that’s no way to start a new year, so  I think my new year is going to start on Sunday.

There are a lot of things I want to work on this year (that is starting on Sunday).  I was thinking about things today, and realizing that to a large extent, I’m avoiding living the life I want to live. I buy scrapbooking magazines (and cooking magazines, and quilting magazines) and supplies and then don’t use them.  I dream about dancing but put off taking a dance class.  I want to be surrounded by beautiful things and instead am surrounding myself with clutter (that is not beautiful).  I want to fill my mind with knowledge but waste time on gossip websites. I want to show love and compassion but do nothing while I’m trying to come up with the perfect thing to say or do, and then the moment passes. I long to create but fear “messing up” so just look at other people’s creations. I expect so much from my body and show it very little respect.

I just feel like I need a perspective shift. I need to step out of my little comfort bubble and start trying to do the things I want to do. I realize that a lot of it is just life with a 5 month old- it’s hard to live an incredibly productive, involved life on not a lot of sleep.  That should get better once she starts sleeping more, (she actually slept for 12 hours the other night! Zoe didn’t, but that’s another story) so I need to start figuring out now how to start doing the things I want to do, so I’m prepared.

Anyway, I’m just in a contemplative mood today. No need for solutions, just sleep and pondering. I hope you all have a wonderful new year, whether it starts today or some other day. 🙂

*Superstition has it that if  “Rabbit” is the first thing you say in the new year, your new year will be lucky.  And who am I to pass up luck?

5 thoughts on “A new look

  1. Kim H. on

    I like your new look. But I wish you had told me about “rabbit” before this afternoon…like yesterday would have been nice.

  2. Maryanne on

    Start your new year with me on Sunday and say it that morning. If we’re making up new New Year’s Days, we can make up new rules. Viva la revolucion!

  3. bruce on

    I know, it may be tacky to say this here, but I want you to have it written down somewhere that you can find whenever you need:

    You are a loving wife, a terrific mother and the best friend I have ever had. Please don’t ever forget that.

  4. maryanne, you have changed my life more than one (remember the “reasons you are awesome” box? i do), most recently by sending me jesus of suburbia. you are compassionate and you do act. i’m grateful for that.

    (must remember to say rabbit on sunday morning…)

  5. Hilary on

    I want to start by saying that I totally understand your feelings in this post and shifting perspectives is a good thing (and I need to do it too!). But, with that said, I have to I agree with Brandy. You touch peoples lives all the time. I admire so many things about you, especially your ability to make everyone feel like they are truly wonderful people and that you love them for who they are. I’m so glad we have gotten back in touch and thank you for being my friend. Love you. Remember, you are an angel. 🙂

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