Maryanne needs

Ok, this is pretty funny. In a recent post on her blog, my Aunt Cindy posted the results of a google search on “Cindy needs”. The results were quite amusing. Here are my first 10 results for “Maryanne needs”.

Maryanne needs something better than the best electron microscopes can provide.
Truer words have never been spoken

Mary Anne needs to get some new friends, and that’s all there is too it!
More than that, Maryanne needs people to learn the difference between to and too.

MaryAnne needs a steady supply of running partners to fuel her passion.
Sure, why not.

Maryanne needs to believe that she deserves what she says she wants
This sounds like an overly complicated song lyric. But there should be another “that”- “that she deserves what she says that she wants.”

Mary Anne needs to talk to someone about flukes in the database.
Absolutely. Send them my way. Dang flukes.

MaryAnn needs 2-3 hours to set up the hands-on workshop the day or night before the actual workshop.
2-3 hours? More than that, surely.

Mary Anne needs some Midol.
That’s rather personal, don’t you think?

Maryanne needs to find time to exercise.
Amen.

Maryanne needs to purchase 14 packages of paper plates.
I’ll get right on that.

Mary Anne needs to move on.
And with that, I’m off to bed.

Post your results in the comments. Or on your blog. Or don’t. But if you do, let me know. Especially if they’re funny.

8 thoughts on “Maryanne needs

  1. ahem…

    1) “Brandy needs to keep the toughness inside.”

    True dat.

    2) “Brandy needs a good lawyer.”

    Good thing I bought that legal insurance at work…

    3) “Brandy needs a girl.”

    Hmmm…no comment 🙂

    4) “Brandy needs an eye exam.”

    Not until March, according to my records!

    5) “Brandy needs Donnie Wahlberg’s Email Address!”

    Awesome, awesome, awesome…

    6) “Brandy needs a home.”

    Yes, in LA. And a job there too…

    7) “Brandy needs to get her acronyms straight.”

    This is probably true, so I’ll get on that ASAP…

    8) “Brandy needs your help.”

    Yes, she does.

    9) “Brandy needs to stop the madness with her jeans!!!”

    Once again, true dat.

    10) “Brandy needs your positive vibes.”

    Yes please 🙂

    funny stuff, maryannie; thanks!

  2. Hilary on

    Here I go:
    1. “Hilary needs to come to canada again.”
    Those darn Canadians just can’t get enough of me.
    2. “Hilary needs to start munching on snacks and junk food.”
    My personal favorite
    3. “Hilary Needs Chocolate”
    A more specific version of #2
    4. “Hilary needs help”
    Whose help??
    5. “Hilary Needs to Stop Being a Fashion Geek”
    But aren’t leg warmers and scrunchie socks still cool?
    6. “Hilary needs to stop crying about being bullied and start talking about the issues”
    But crying is so much easier.
    7. “Praising KKK Supporters in the White House – Hilary Needs to Explain This.”
    Yes, I really do, don’t I?
    8. “Hilary Needs Your Help!”
    Ohh, OK, that clears it up.
    9. “Hilary Needs Shoes To Feel Cute on Tour”
    Don’t we all.
    10. “Hilary Needs Some Sun”
    I had to add this last one:
    11. “Hilary Needs to Be Our Next President”
    Nuff said.

    Thanks Maryanne, that was fun!

  3. Justin on

    Saw Hil’s, and had to try it out:

    1 – “Justin needs to start playing smash brothers again.”
    Did I ever stop?
    2 – “Justin Needs To Bring Humble Back.”
    Sorry I took it
    3 – “Justin needs a date.”
    So long as it’s with my best girl Hil
    4 – “Justin Needs a Clever Display Name.”
    Too true, phonetic misspellings are only semi-cool
    5 – “Justin Needs an Attitude Adjustment.”
    Is there such a thing as an attitude chiropractor?
    6 – “Justin Needs A Partner To …”
    … finish his sentences?
    7 – “Justin needs to hook up with Jessica Simpson.”
    Um, NO.
    8 – “Scruffy Justin needs a wash.”
    Google is good! I haven’t showered or shaved!
    9 – “Justin needs a refill.”
    Free refills, right?
    10 – “Justin needs a webmonkey.”
    Actually, any kind of monkey would suffice

  4. Maryanne on

    Those are AWESOME. I love this game. My favorites:
    Hilary needs to start munching on snacks and junk food.

    Justin needs to start playing smash brothers again

    and my absolute favorite:

    Brandy needs Donnie Wahlberg’s Email Address

    Don’t we all?
    I think it helps to have a name that someone famous has, for greater variety.

  5. Oooh, I want to play!

    Bruce needs a shave
    Lies! I shaved once already.

    Bruce needs 131 yards for No. 2 spot on receiving list
    Haha…like I can catch…

    bruce needs a cartoon, we all need a cartoon
    it’s true, I do need more Venture Brothers

    The Bruce Needs Some Red Bull in His Diet, but Will it Help …
    um…no. That stuff tastes like ground up sweet-tarts mixed in water, which sounds good but isn’t.

    Bruce Needs A Nickname
    true, but no “Brewster”, “Brewmeister”, “Bruce the Goose” or “Juicy Bruce”

    Bruce needs room to operate
    that’s right, get back and watch me work!

    Bruce needs a job
    another one?

    Bruce needs to remember whom he represents in Denver
    because I GOTS to represent, yo

    Bruce needs to pray
    MC Hammer was right! (I think I see a t-shirt design in that)

    Bruce needs some explanations!
    and I think we all know from whom!

  6. so funny everyone! i love Justin’s wonderment about an attitude chiropractor 🙂

  7. Kim H. on

    Kim needs:
    to Take Off the Gloves
    a refreshment
    to talk
    is to focus on her kid
    to mind her own business
    all five of her riders around her at all times
    some hints
    needs help
    a stylist
    to shut up and go home
    to be “thanked”
    an intervention
    our prayers
    improvement on the dance floor
    her ID

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