An update

Remember this post? The one that started all this lovely madness?

I just wanted to let you know that it’s working.

In the pursuit of the vision, I’ve been praying for wisdom and joy (also due to some Personal Progress goals), and the result has been breathtaking. I’m able to see through the clutter to what I’m looking for, to those things that will bring peace to our home. I’m able to pay attention to the important, not just the loud.

One of the major changes I’ve made (which seems so small, but has made such a difference) is to cull the list of websites I visit on a daily basis, leaving only those which inspire and uplift me. There’s still a long list that I check in on throughout the day when I need a little 5 minute break, but cutting out the gossip sites, the trashy, the inane has turned those little 5 minute breaks into actual refreshment, not distraction.  And I wouldn’t have thought of it without having prayed for the help.

Today I was overcome with gratitude for our life. For our family. For the opportunity I have to make a home. As stressed out as I get, my life is really pretty simple.

And I love it.

Of good report

Things making me happy today:

Modern Day Martha, my new website which has blossomed into something combining the best qualities of some of my dearest friends, and which is still expanding. It’s kind of like Voltron. (We, also, are loved by good, feared by evil.) If you’re not reading it, you should be.

Tiny’s piggietails:

100_3925

The “flower” that Zoe found on our walk and had to take a picture of:

100_4000

Seeing the girls play with something I made:

100_4014

The band Dogs Die In Hot Cars, which I had forgotten about until just now. Their music makes me so happy.

We got preschool figured out for this year, and when I say figured out, I mean everything plotted out on the calendar, we know who’s teaching which week, what they’re teaching, and where we’re going for our little field trips each week. My completely obsessive organizational side reared it’s head, and not only is all that sorted out, we’ve also found all the music that goes with each of the lesson days and all of the moms are getting a CD with all of it.  And I’m making adventure journals for each of the kids to bring on our field trips. It’s going to be an awesome year, I’m really excited. We’re really lucky that Z has such great little friends, and that their moms are rockstars.

We got to visit with my brother Paul and his awesome wife and to-die-for adorable daughter this evening. She makes me blissfully happy. She and Z walked around holding hands, and she kept giving Tiny little hugs- perfection.

My cousin Travis, who, through the magic of Facebook I’m getting to know. He lives in Utah, and the last time I saw him in person he was a wee little tyke. Now he’s old enough to be going on a mission to Hawaii in December (I KNOW!), and he is intelligent, hilarious, and incredibly sweet.  I’m really grateful for technology making it easier to connect with family. (And of course I ADORE my auntie, his momma, too. :) )

I just got put in charge of a book club. Woo hoo! Now I have to come up with a list of books….any suggestions?

What’s making you happy today?

Recent project

I couldn’t post anything about this project before because it was a surprise for my friend Jessica, but she got it in the mail today, so I can reveal it to the world!

Jessica is one of the best seamstresses I know, as well as an incredible photographer, and so when I saw this paper I decided I had to make an album for her with it. This is how it turned out.

100_3901100_3892100_3898100_3895100_3897100_3890

The back looks like a record, because she and her husband love music.  Don’t you love that scissor paper? Too cute! And the paper with different kinds of stitches? I can’t believe I didn’t take a picture of the paper with little dress patterns all over it, seriously.

Anyway, I love the way it turned out, and I hope it gets put to great use holding lots of Jess’ gorgeous photos!

Wanna know what I’m workin’ on?

100_3960

100_3932
(Did you know it’s Halloween in 68 days? Zoe does. She’s already planning her parties. Yes, plural. These are the “save the date cards” for one of them. They’re made of wood. They’re cute.)

100_3950
100_3949
(I’m not working on this one, Z is- I just post it to show her obsession with the holiday. Isn’t the black and orange cool?)

100_3961
These things are behemoths. But I’m really excited to dive in!

100_3962
Zoe and Tiny have a new game where they throw themselves onto pillows. They’ve been using my couch pillows, which aren’t holding up so well. So I made them their own pillows to hug, fall on ecstatically, throttle, destroy. The Lightning McQueen is Zoe’s, as she is in the throws of a huge obsession with Cars. I hear the story of McQueen falling out of the back of Mack at least 37 times a day. OK, maybe just 17. But a lot. Baby Strawberry Shortcake is Tiny’s, as chosen by Z. The choice is ironic, really, as Tiny LOVES strawberries and isn’t allowed to eat them because they make her eczema insane. So sad. Like rain, on your wedding day. Like a free ride, when you’ve already paid. (Sorry, it’s late, and apparently I’m loopy.) The Fancy Nancy is a free for all, for whoever’s in the mood at the time.

Modern-Day-Martha

Oh, and some friends and I have a new website. It’s pretty awesome, you should check it out. :)

The next thing I’m working on? My bed.  Sleep is calling my name, and it has such a lovely voice.

Leave me comments about what you’re working on, so I can wake up to happy notes in the morning. :)

Goodnight everyone.

Of good report

I’m in somewhat of a icky mood -I have a weird post nasal drip throat hurting thing happening and my children WILL. NOT. STOP. WHINING!

Ahem.

So I decided to post an “Of good report” post to get my mind back on the positive. So here we go.

Tiny loves to hide in this space and read. For a long time. Seriously.

Tiny loves to hide in this space and read. For a long time. Seriously.

A car Zoe made out of a box and 5 plastic plates.

A car Zoe made out of a box and 5 plastic plates.

A picture Zoe took. I love the composition. It seems symbolic, somehow.

A picture Zoe took. I love the composition. It seems symbolic, somehow.

Zoe's first journal. She and I made it yesterday. Each day she'll draw a picture and then dictate.

Zoe's first journal. She and I made it yesterday. Each day she'll draw a picture and then dictate.

Z's split lip is finally healed. I don't think I posted a picture before.  If I didn't- this is what happens when a face meets the edge of a piano.

Z's split lip is finally healed. I don't think I posted a picture before. If I didn't- this is what happens when a face meets the edge of a piano.

I finished both Lectures on Faith by Joseph Smith and Suffering is Optional by Cheri Huber. Both were fantastic. Both very eye opening.  Now I’m back to My Life in France by Julia Child, which is similarly eye opening. A running theme through all of them is the pursuit of joy,  which is of little surprise, seeing as my Personal Progress goal for two weeks is trying to have more joy.

I have such wonderful friends. The comments to my last post made me so happy.  I love the support great women can give to each other.

The girls are up from their naps, so I’m going to go try to have a more positive outlook in our time before B gets home.

What’s making you happy today?

Oh, one last thing – if any of you have excellent inspirational blogs that you frequent (like I linked to in my last post), would you put a link in the comments? Thanks!

A new start

Don’t you just love new beginnings? New Years, a birthday, a new school year, even the start of a new month – all arbitrary  but seemingly fitting times to introduce change.  I’ve been feeling the itch to shake things up for a little while now. Our days have been kind of unfocused, unproductive, frustrating.  I knew change was needed, but didn’t quite know what kind.

At the same time, I’ve been putting off figuring out what we’re doing for our little co-op preschool this year.  Yesterday I decided to buckle down and try to get a grip on it. As I did, a vision started to emerge, books started filling up my Amazon cart, websites linked. (Can websites link? Whatever.)

Anyway.  I’ve caught a glimpse of the life I want us to have, and I’m using the beginning of this school year to mark the start of the change. It’s not concrete in my mind yet, I still have reading to do to solidify concepts and practice from  inspiration, but I’m excited about it.

If you’re interested in what our life will look like this fall, here’s a little virtual inspiration wall:

Embracing Creativity

Playing with Fabric

Painting

Celebrations

Lots of photos

Learning

Adventures

Nature

I’m excited to see it take shape- and excited for the joy these changes will hopefully bring. I’ll let you know what happens as we go.

Answers to prayers

This weekend was Stake Conference, and as a little extra, the attending General Authorities called a Stake Auxiliary meeting (so- all the women leaders over the women’s, young women’s and kids’ organizations.) As the meeting started, Elder Snow admitted that this was the first time he’d done such a thing, and really had no idea why he was prompted to do so. He asked us to wait for a moment while he listened for a prompting of how to proceed, and then started talking, and it was so amazing.  I think he directly answered 7 or 8 different prayers I’ve had in the last couple of weeks. The Spirit was amazingly strong, and it was just an awesome experience. Some things that stood out:

Note: These quotes are rough, but as close as I could get to what he said. I was writing frantically.

“The work of the Priesthood is the work of God. The work of God is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. Immortality has already been taken care of, through the atonement of the Savior. So, all the efforts of God and the prophets are focused on one thing. Eternal life. If our work is anything other than eternal life, why? What servant works on something different from the Master?”

“Women can do the work of the priesthood just fine without holding the priesthood. You just do it. Each of you, in your homes, are one at a time, preparing spirits for eternal life. If we are doing other things before the work of the priesthood, we need to rethink things. Focus first on eternal life.” (NOTE: He emphasized that this statement was not just about mothers- each of us is preparing spirits for eternal life.)

He told the story of a guy who worked with the YM and he made the comment to him that “Every day is Tuesday! [The day they had YM activities]  I wake up each day, stretch, think, what day is it? Oh my gosh, it’s Tuesday again!” . He said that if we struggle with trying to balance out everything (no matter which day it is that it “always is” for us), we should read everything by Julie Beck that we can get our hands on. He said she is who he learned from.

In speaking of activities and trying to get people involved and feeling the Spirit, he said, (quoting someone else who I didn’t write down) “Don’t allow the means we use to overshadow the ends we seek”.

He reminded us that the family is the first line when it comes to teaching, and that if the girls/kids are struggling; instead of trying to be the first line, we perhaps need to help the parents learn how to teach their kids.

“Home is a place where everyone who wants to feel the Spirit, can, at any time.”

“Attendance at church meetings doesn’t cause anything to happen.  It only creates an opportunity. Programs can’t compensate for failure of personal, spiritual growth. The scriptures don’t say a principle of exaltation is coming to church, they say you must come to Christ. If all we are doing is inviting people to come to church, we are missing the point.”

And from the general meeting the next day:

“I think there is nothing that pleases God more than to see His daughters.”  I heard that and waited for him to continue- see His daughters do what? And the full stop at the end of that statement was almost deafening. To see His daughters. We are enough. We are loved.

“The Lord is not going to do something unless we are engaged in the process.”

“It is good to know we have a God who can move us about when His work is at stake. And His work is at stake every day with our lives.”

“You have the right to that clarity [of having the Holy Ghost communicate with you] and if you are living without it, not seeking for it, you are living beneath your privileges. ”

“You don’t have to be afraid. If you are ill, if you’ve lost your job, you don’t have to be afraid, if you’ll just choose Him. Because then you can access the power He is trying so desperately to get through to you.”

And these were the thoughts that came as I listened, copied straight out of the notebook I wrote them in as they poured into my head:

Does our output match our capacity? Do we see our potential honestly, realistically, as God does? Can we? How do we live based on that potential? How do we have the energy to do that?

This work (YW) is not about us, individually- our efforts aren’t intended to reflect on us and/or our capabilities. Our view is so narrow, so limited when we focus on promoting programs, and so broad and so clear when we focus on Christ.

That first thought there, the how do we live up to our potential and have the energy to do that nagged at me all weekend. It was so clearly a pointer in a direction I needed to think, and I so wasn’t coming up with an answer. So imagine my gratitude when this quote showed up in an e-mail in my inbox this morning. (Bold added by me.)

“When we invite the Holy Ghost to fill our minds with light and knowledge, He “quickens” us, that is to say, enlightens and enlivens the inner man or woman. As a result we notice a measurable difference in our soul. We feel strengthened, filled with peace and joy. We possess spiritual energy and enthusiasm, both of which enhance our natural abilities. We can accomplish more than we otherwise could do on our own. We yearn to become a holier person.”

–Elder Keith K. Hilbig, “Quench Not the Spirit Which Quickens the Inner Man

And that’s what I need. The power to do more than I can do on my own. Seriously, so many answers in such a short little period of time. And now I just need to sort through them, ponder them, figure out how to apply them.  But I have direction, and hope.  Isn’t it wonderful?

In which we get away for a weekend (well, a night)

Tomorrow is Bruce and my wedding anniversary (7 years- when did that happen?). In celebration, we decided to go away for a night, something we haven’t done since Z was born. (I know!)

I had the idea and got the babysitter (thanks to my momma), and B figured out where we were going. He chose Santa Cruz, which was PERFECT. I’ve been missing Santa Cruz recently, so it was nice to be able to be there leisurely.

On the way over the hill we discussed the pathetic nature of young leading men these days, and cast hypothetical westerns – both topics spurred by the thought (hypothetical, again) of a remake of Young Guns. (We settled on Adrien Brody, Stuart Townsend, and Brad Pitt as must haves for the hypothetical western, with the stipulation that it not be about the Earps. Not that we mind the Earps, but it’s been done.) We also discussed the brilliance that is Johnny Depp (because, honestly, who comes out of more than 10 years of scraggly- gorgeous scraggly, but scraggly none the less- looking like THIS???), and the fact that stuart Townsend is the PERFECT Lestat, and while Robert Downey Jr. is lovely, and can play suave well, he doesn’t quite have the elegance for that particular role.

We stayed at the castle lookin’ Hilton in Scotts Valley, in a gorgeous suite which contained an amazingly huge jacuzzi bathtub. Bliss.

We had dinner at Cafe Cruz, which was delicious. While there, we saw a veritable parade of hoochily dressed young ladies, which was no end of amusement for us. And can someone please tell me when a tube top became appropriate dress for a hostess at a decently schnazzy eatery? Seriously. Anyway, lovely bacon wrapped steak, artichoke, orange cream soda…… yum.

Then we went back downtown (we’d wandered around a little bit pre-heading out for dinner) and hit Marini’s for super yummy, makes you want to eat so much you want to die ice cream. It was super yummy, and made me eat so much I wanted to die. Vanilla ice cream with caramel and toffee. Gah. After stuffing ourselves, we wandered around Borders, where I picked up My Life in France by Julia Child. I find Julia Child’s story fascinating, and it will be fun to read more about her. I’m not planning on seeing Julie and Julia because I read the book (which I enjoyed), and I don’t see it as terribly necessary to my life to see it acted out. But la Meryl Streep is playing Julia Child in it, and I am tempted to rent it when it comes out, just to see those parts.

Back at the hotel I took a long soaky bath in the aforementioned gigantic bathtub and hit the sack. I actually got to sleep in until 8:30, a super rare occurrence in my life for the last 3 years. So nice.

We hit the Chill Out Cafe (no good link, sorry) for breakfast burritos and hot chocolate, then wandered around Logos where I found The Ghost Stories of Muriel Spark and Exterminate the Brutes , which will tie nicely into my recent studyings of African history. We stopped by Atlantis to see Joe before heading home, and then went on our way.

We got home to happy kids, and I was able to get to an AMAZING stake Auxiliary meeting with Lowell Snow of the Seventy. It was a breathtaking meeting, I have pages and pages and pages of notes. Truly inspired. We went to Stake Conference today and it was similarly uplifting and inspired. Really such a wonderful experience, and we were able to fully take it in, seeing as the girls were still home with Grandma. :)

Now that we’re home again, for good this time, Z’s a little clingy and afraid we’ll be heading out again. It was really nice to get away and have some time to ourselves, and we need to do it more often.

I truly am so grateful for my marriage; there were a number of opportunities in my life for things to go other ways, and I’m so thankful I ended up with the right person. My life would not be the same, my joy not as great. My kids not as cute. (Who said that?) Happy Anniversary, B, I love you.